The Road to Becoming All I Could Be.

Remember when you were young and you believed you were bulletproof? Alike your favorite cartoon, you could run as fast as the road runner, and although science classes taught you otherwise, your body was indestructible? These lucid moments in life have a great effect on who you are, and they build character. Unfortunately there are times when you fall and your belief is thwarted. You realize you do bleed and your bones do break, just like everyone else's. As we enter adulthood and pile on responsibility, we become comfortable with who we are, maintain certain beliefs, and project ourselves in a particular manner. We believe that we are marketable, distinguished individuals that will emerge from difficult situations unscathed. Sometimes this is the case, sometimes it's not.

While I was employed in a small business, I maintained this belief. I had a few friends that had lost their jobs and were having difficulty finding a new opportunity. I remember thinking that if I were in a situation where I HAD to find a new job, my state of unemployment would be short lived. I mean, how couldn't it? I was marketable, I had great experiences in both corporate and small business positions, I am personable, well dressed, well spoken, and easy to get along with. I didn't get it - that is until May 2010, then I finally got it. Although I've talked about my experience as an educated, unemployed, young professional many times already, I have held back one experience that left the biggest impression.

This past September, I remember thinking that I needed to figure things out before the holidays, as money was becoming a more noticeable issue and wasn't sure how far into 2011 I could sustain. It was at that point that I considered doing something I had never considered before. So with an open mind and a fair amount of anxiety, I spoke with an Army recruiter about becoming an Officer. Our first conversation was really informative, and opened my eyes to a life that I literally knew nothing about. I became familiar with the ranks, necessary training, and the overall commitment that a commission would require. The first step was to fill out all paperwork and get my name in the system. Done. The next step was to study for the ASVAB test, which is a military version of a general knowledge standardized test, likely compared to the GMAT. I studied for a few weeks, got the Kaplan book, and ended up scoring relatively high on the test. The biggest decision I was faced with at this point was: "am I really going to do this?" Secondary to this thought was the decision of reserves vs. active duty.

The decision process required a lot of self reflection. My motivations were largely influenced by the attraction of having a purpose in a defined role, and having my student loans paid off. My fears included the obvious, but mostly revolved around the idea of being away from a civilian lifestyle for a minimum of four years. My overall military exploration spanned across a three month period and ran simultaneously with my civilian job search. The last bit was almost a month ago when I went in for an overall health exam. I was dropped off the night before by my recruiter and was prepared for an early start. That evening, a video was shown about the expectations of the next day. I didn't know it at the time, but the video demonstrated a general overview and wasn't intended to be "gospel" for all who watched. I remember noticing that most of those in the room were young, just out of High School, and were going into the military in lieu of college. It became obvious that I was the only person pursuing an officer commission, and although I was instructed on the procedures of the following day, I heard something in the video that made me anxious. The video stated that the following days events closed with a swearing-in that declared an intention of military service, and was considered a verbal contract. Long story short, I freaked out and ended up leaving the hotel. I wasn't prepared to make that decision the following day, and felt as if I was being forced into a contract. After speaking with my recruiter and realizing the misunderstanding, I ended up requesting some time to think more about whether or not this was the right choice for me. My concern was that if this was the right choice, I shouldn't be as easily spooked as I was.

The days that lead up to this experience are still unbelievable to me. A mere couple days prior to this I was offered a position at a company I had applied to a few months earlier. I accepted. At the time, I was entertaining two real options and looking for a sign that would point me in the right direction. I took the hotel experience as a sign and decided to give corporate America another go. At present time, I believe I made the right decision and couldn't be happier. In nearly 31 years, I have learned many things through personal experiences. And although I no longer feel indestructible, I have found the value in being vulnerable.  

Hello, my name is...

I have been increasingly horrible at updating my life on social outlets. Looking at the date of my last post, July 20, and realizing that it is now November 7, I am reminded how time has the ability to fly by.

The last four months have been spent looking at opportunity. In my last post I mentioned my interests in cooking and a possible pursuit of a new life in the culinary world. If I have learned anything, it is that life is always about timing. And after further investigating this profession, I realized that my interest and my opportunity weren't quite align. In the end, without belaboring every intimate detail, I found it wasn't the right time.

So there I was, still looking for the right opportunity, unemployed, and relying on friends for a place to stay. In my day-to-day activities, I possessed very little of the professional and social life I had ever known. Being an independent person, it was incredibly difficult to adjust to this foreign way of life. A lot of my free time was spent job hunting, and when fortunate enough, interviewing. This process became my life, and unfortunately, had little return.

With a growing need for disposable income, I contacted an old acquaintance who runs a temp staffing company. Knowing the work would be socially demeaning, I accepted an opportunity to hand out a free daily Tribune newspaper, known as the RedEye. My office from 5am - 10am daily, was the Belmont CTA station. For those that don't know, Belmont is fondly known as the most attractive train station in the city, and is utilized by the 20-30 year old young professional. Clearly being the best looking newspaper slinger ever to be seen at a train station, I received a number of odd looks and had to explain why I was handing out papers, to a number of my peers. At first, the experience was frightening and demoralizing; over time it became humbling. As the summer progressed, I got to know the schedules of a number of people, and in a way became a part of their daily routine. Though I have since moved on and am no longer handing out papers, I can honestly say that this experience has grounded me, and ultimately made me a better person.

The point of this entry is to realize that sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do. I originally created this blog to detail my life experiences. Being uncertain of where life was taking me, I thought I should jot some things down and with any luck, writing would prove to be therapeutic. By having an open mind and a positive outlook, I have created opportunities when none existed.  The last month has taken my life in a new direction and over the next couple of posts, I will detail various experiences that bring my life to the present. Until then keep an open mind, the opportunities are endless!