The Road to Becoming All I Could Be.

Remember when you were young and you believed you were bulletproof? Alike your favorite cartoon, you could run as fast as the road runner, and although science classes taught you otherwise, your body was indestructible? These lucid moments in life have a great effect on who you are, and they build character. Unfortunately there are times when you fall and your belief is thwarted. You realize you do bleed and your bones do break, just like everyone else's. As we enter adulthood and pile on responsibility, we become comfortable with who we are, maintain certain beliefs, and project ourselves in a particular manner. We believe that we are marketable, distinguished individuals that will emerge from difficult situations unscathed. Sometimes this is the case, sometimes it's not.

While I was employed in a small business, I maintained this belief. I had a few friends that had lost their jobs and were having difficulty finding a new opportunity. I remember thinking that if I were in a situation where I HAD to find a new job, my state of unemployment would be short lived. I mean, how couldn't it? I was marketable, I had great experiences in both corporate and small business positions, I am personable, well dressed, well spoken, and easy to get along with. I didn't get it - that is until May 2010, then I finally got it. Although I've talked about my experience as an educated, unemployed, young professional many times already, I have held back one experience that left the biggest impression.

This past September, I remember thinking that I needed to figure things out before the holidays, as money was becoming a more noticeable issue and wasn't sure how far into 2011 I could sustain. It was at that point that I considered doing something I had never considered before. So with an open mind and a fair amount of anxiety, I spoke with an Army recruiter about becoming an Officer. Our first conversation was really informative, and opened my eyes to a life that I literally knew nothing about. I became familiar with the ranks, necessary training, and the overall commitment that a commission would require. The first step was to fill out all paperwork and get my name in the system. Done. The next step was to study for the ASVAB test, which is a military version of a general knowledge standardized test, likely compared to the GMAT. I studied for a few weeks, got the Kaplan book, and ended up scoring relatively high on the test. The biggest decision I was faced with at this point was: "am I really going to do this?" Secondary to this thought was the decision of reserves vs. active duty.

The decision process required a lot of self reflection. My motivations were largely influenced by the attraction of having a purpose in a defined role, and having my student loans paid off. My fears included the obvious, but mostly revolved around the idea of being away from a civilian lifestyle for a minimum of four years. My overall military exploration spanned across a three month period and ran simultaneously with my civilian job search. The last bit was almost a month ago when I went in for an overall health exam. I was dropped off the night before by my recruiter and was prepared for an early start. That evening, a video was shown about the expectations of the next day. I didn't know it at the time, but the video demonstrated a general overview and wasn't intended to be "gospel" for all who watched. I remember noticing that most of those in the room were young, just out of High School, and were going into the military in lieu of college. It became obvious that I was the only person pursuing an officer commission, and although I was instructed on the procedures of the following day, I heard something in the video that made me anxious. The video stated that the following days events closed with a swearing-in that declared an intention of military service, and was considered a verbal contract. Long story short, I freaked out and ended up leaving the hotel. I wasn't prepared to make that decision the following day, and felt as if I was being forced into a contract. After speaking with my recruiter and realizing the misunderstanding, I ended up requesting some time to think more about whether or not this was the right choice for me. My concern was that if this was the right choice, I shouldn't be as easily spooked as I was.

The days that lead up to this experience are still unbelievable to me. A mere couple days prior to this I was offered a position at a company I had applied to a few months earlier. I accepted. At the time, I was entertaining two real options and looking for a sign that would point me in the right direction. I took the hotel experience as a sign and decided to give corporate America another go. At present time, I believe I made the right decision and couldn't be happier. In nearly 31 years, I have learned many things through personal experiences. And although I no longer feel indestructible, I have found the value in being vulnerable.  

Hello, my name is...

I have been increasingly horrible at updating my life on social outlets. Looking at the date of my last post, July 20, and realizing that it is now November 7, I am reminded how time has the ability to fly by.

The last four months have been spent looking at opportunity. In my last post I mentioned my interests in cooking and a possible pursuit of a new life in the culinary world. If I have learned anything, it is that life is always about timing. And after further investigating this profession, I realized that my interest and my opportunity weren't quite align. In the end, without belaboring every intimate detail, I found it wasn't the right time.

So there I was, still looking for the right opportunity, unemployed, and relying on friends for a place to stay. In my day-to-day activities, I possessed very little of the professional and social life I had ever known. Being an independent person, it was incredibly difficult to adjust to this foreign way of life. A lot of my free time was spent job hunting, and when fortunate enough, interviewing. This process became my life, and unfortunately, had little return.

With a growing need for disposable income, I contacted an old acquaintance who runs a temp staffing company. Knowing the work would be socially demeaning, I accepted an opportunity to hand out a free daily Tribune newspaper, known as the RedEye. My office from 5am - 10am daily, was the Belmont CTA station. For those that don't know, Belmont is fondly known as the most attractive train station in the city, and is utilized by the 20-30 year old young professional. Clearly being the best looking newspaper slinger ever to be seen at a train station, I received a number of odd looks and had to explain why I was handing out papers, to a number of my peers. At first, the experience was frightening and demoralizing; over time it became humbling. As the summer progressed, I got to know the schedules of a number of people, and in a way became a part of their daily routine. Though I have since moved on and am no longer handing out papers, I can honestly say that this experience has grounded me, and ultimately made me a better person.

The point of this entry is to realize that sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do. I originally created this blog to detail my life experiences. Being uncertain of where life was taking me, I thought I should jot some things down and with any luck, writing would prove to be therapeutic. By having an open mind and a positive outlook, I have created opportunities when none existed.  The last month has taken my life in a new direction and over the next couple of posts, I will detail various experiences that bring my life to the present. Until then keep an open mind, the opportunities are endless!

It's Been A While

I knew it had been some time since my last post, but WOW, over a month! In some aspects, time has gone by at a break-neck pace. In others, let's say professionally, they have not.

I am typing alongside a nice glass of 12 year old Glenlivet, trying not to overanalyze the latest afternoon phone call, detailing the company's interest in other candidates. Although this role had no certain future beyond the contract, which is to be up in November, it still held promise of responsibility. Personally, I think the worst aspect of being unemployed is the lack of responsibility that one has. Granted there are a lot of emotions tied to this state of limbo, especially if one's responsibilities include a family, mortgage, etc. But, fortunate for me, it's just me. In this time of uncertainty, I have found the experience humbling, and in a lot of ways, very similar to A LOT of unsuccessful first dates. I have also found my mind wandering into other areas of interest, that I could potentially turn into a career.

Last night I cooked for a couple people that are close to me. I had grilled center-cut lamb chops with a marinade I threw together, topped with a balsamic cranberry reduction. As I jokingly said last night, I had to pat myself on the back for that one. Fantastic. The point of this 180 degree turn in topic, is due to the current mental crises I am having. I have been offered an opportunity to become a chef apprentice at a restaurant and design the new, not currently offered, lunch menu. Anyone who knows me, knows two things: I can cook, and I have wanted to open a restaurant for a long time. This opportunity seems to satisfy what I want, right? Well, then there's the money issue. Of course I will be paid, just not much. There are other concerns also, but the fact the opportunity is there has to account for something, right? The flip to this is staying on my current path, trying to find a marketing role, and seeing where that road takes me.

At first, the dream of realizing your true passion is easy to suppress due to thoughts of unpreparedness, current level of comfort, or financial concerns. But when you are constantly being told no, in an industry that's supposed to be your big boy role, and yes in your dream role, what are you supposed to do? Is it a sign, or have I just not found the perfect position yet? Time will tell, but I will say, the word "no" gets harder to hear each time.

Steak & Egger

It's not often that I find myself up at 4am on a Saturday. Typically in this rare instance, my night has lead me through a number of bars and I've drunk my way through the night; not this morning.

In my still unfamiliar state of unemployment, I have been taking odd jobs from a friend that runs a staffing company. Mostly in the interest of keeping my mind busy with some sense of responsibility, this particular task has me tracking delivery drivers to make sure they are delivering on time. Feeling like I am part of a sting operation, I sit in dark shadows, waiting for the delivery at key check points. Since I am only following a couple drivers, there is some downtime. For this, there is Steak & Egger.

As pictured, Steak & Egger is not the finest of "diner" dining, but would likely give most "Golden whatevers" a run for their money. Being at the Cermak and Racine location, at 4:30am, I didn't know if my yuppy ass was walking into a guaranteed ass kicking/mugging situation, or if I'd be cool. After only a few "who's this guy" glances, I was one with my fellow diners. Lately, I've been reviewing brunch spots in my blog, but I won't be doing this here. Steak & Egger fills a purpose, and that's 24 hour dining. Nothing earth shaking, just cheap eats. I will say that although the establishment is adorned with signs that claim they have the best coffee in the city, I am sorry to say this is grossly overstated, (unless you happen to love the taste of Nescafe').

At any rate, if you find yourself running into a Steak & Egger in the wee hours of the morning, and you're in a college truck stop breakfast mood, give 'em a shot. Let's face it, this decision isn't worse than a burrito the size of your head, or a Golden Pancake...

A Gluttonous Experience

Today has been a slow moving day. Getting up and off to the gym was unusually difficult and I seemed to feel as though I had been hit by a truck, sometime between last night and 6:30am this morning. I arrived at the gym around 7:30am, still feeling REALLY sluggish. Half hour into my workout, I am slow moving, have no endurance, and sweating like a pig. Right after this thought, the light came on and I realized the culprit was the pig, in last nights dinner. After hearing nothing but good things, I checked out "The Purple Pig", (500 N Michigan Ave), last night. Let me start by saying that nothing about this morning makes me regret the indulgence that took place, last evening. 

Being fortunate enough to catch a great Chicago evening, we were seated outside. The menu, alike the communal table arrangements, were designed for sharing. We started with a great rock shrimp antipasti with three different types of peas, shaved asparagus with feta cheese, a fried cheese dish that reminded me of a great Greek saganaki (sans fire), and a fried deviled egg. The deviled egg stood apart as an early favorite, mostly because it was fried, but also because it didn't remind me of the traditional deviled egg that I don't particularly like. We then moved onto the "Smears" portion of the menu. Feeling adventurous, we went with the roasted bone marrow with herbs. Never having ordered, or eaten, bone marrow before, I can say that it's texture was similar to the fat on a grilled ribeye steak. We "smeared" the hot marrow over bread, and mutually found our maiden marrow experience to be better than expected.

For our final round, we ordered braised pig's tails, pork blade steak and the milk braised pork shoulder with mashed potatoes. Alike the bone marrow, eating pig's tail was a new experience. After marinading in balsamic vinegar, the tails were covered in brown sugar, then braised. The end product was delicious, and tasted a lot like ribs. For desert, we tried the Sicilian iris, which came heavily recommended by a neighboring diner. The iris is a deep fried ricotta and chocolate chip filled brioche, and yet again, delicious!

Everything we had at The Purple Pig was fantastic. If you're in Chicago, and enjoy pork, check out this restaurant, you won't be disappointed. Just be forewarned, you won't be operating at full speed the next day! 

Brunch in the City

Over the last few weeks, I have taken the opportunity to hit some early morning brunch spots. Though I hit some old favorites, I have also tried some new places as well. Until this morning, I was solely smitten by Bakin' and Eggs (3120 N Lincoln Ave). B&E's menu offerings range from healthier options, such as the oatmeal with peach lavender compote, pecan streusel and brown sugar (ok, so not TOO healthy), to the clearly gluttonous options that include the bacon flight (7 types of bacon) and the Southern Comfort Bowl (basically cholesterol covered with sausage gravy... clearly delicious). Yesterday I had the caramelized onion frittata, was happy as ever, and couldn't imagine topping that breakfast, this weekend.

This morning, I woke up with a list of to-do's that I needed to fulfill. I figured a good breakfast was a no-brainer, so I hit up Google requesting the best brunch spots in Chicago. I weeded through the list, and came across the bar/restaurant, Old Town Social (OTS for short). Though I have passed this place a few times, I have never stopped in and have heard rumors of it being a little pretentious. At any rate, I took a glance at the menu and noticed the not-so-bar-food options. I liked what I saw and figured, what the hell.

When I arrive, the place is empty, or so it seems. I have no idea how many square feet the restaurant is, but it's big. I take a seat at the bar. Looking around, I notice an absence of TV's that usually adorn every square inch of the bar/restaurant combo that exists in Chicago. What OTS has done is smart. Most all of the TV's are either raised into the ceiling, or lowered behind the bar during typical dining hours. According to the bartender, once the facility goes into full-on bar mode, the TV's appear, the lights go dim and the music gets louder. To me, if you put time into a menu, and offer menu options that go beyond fried mini-tacos and cheeseburgers, it should feel like a restaurant, not a bar! I digress.

I glance over the menu. I am torn between two options: the cornmeal-bacon waffles with maple syrup and homemade grilled smoked sausage, or the pork belly benedict. A tough call, but I chose the waffles. After the first bite, I was immediately compelled to text a few foodie friends about just how good that bite was. Honestly, I am not a man that gets excited over waffles often, but this sausage/waffle combo was serious! After I finish my last bite, I glance over at a fellow patron who happens to have the benedict. I ask the status of his meal, and he he claims this pork belly benedict, is the best benedict he's ever had! Is this attestation debatable and overstated? Perhaps. But if they were anything like my waffles, then I think I believe him...

I will be back next Sunday to see for myself.

In and Around Town

In an effort to keep my mind busy, I have stepped out and done some pretty cool things lately.

First on the list is the William Eggleston exhibit at the Chicago Art Institute. Eggleston's photography is interesting and frames much of his photography around ordinary moments, and brings them to life in full color. What I found most interesting was the preservation of color in each of the shots. The vibrancy of the images, after so many years, turns out to be due to the specific way he processed his images. This process is known as dye transfer printing and is detailed further here: http://tinyurl.com/2839kgm. The exhibit runs until May 23, 2010 and I would definitely catch it if you can.

Next up is Across the Table, “Chicago’s Largest Conversation”, a nonprofit dining experience where 10 random diners meet at a restaurant for great food and conversation that stems from a predetermined topic. My dining destination was a little Mexican restaurant in Lincoln Square, Los Napoles. Our topic for the evening was beauty and the perception of beauty. Without laboring on the entire 2.5-hour conversation, I will say that it was interesting how people perceived beauty, and the fact that it had little to do with vanity. Across the Table is hosting a fundraising dinner on June 28, 2010. I will be reminding everyone of the occasion as the date gets closer, but I would highly recommend attending if you can. You can find more information at: www.acrossthetable.org

Last weekend I checked out Scoozi!, one of the original Lettuce Entertain You restaurant concepts. Located in River North, Scoozi! is a large Italian restaurant with a pretty cool dining atmosphere. I had the homemade gnocchi with Bolognese sauce. By no means would I say this restaurant was the greatest Italian restaurant in the city, but I will say that for the cost and the atmosphere, it is definitely worth trying.

Lastly, although it has nothing to do with Chicago, I will give credit to the Saturday Night Live that aired this past weekend. As most know, I am pretty outspoken about my dislike of SNL, but was willing to waste an hour and a half for Betty White and Jay-Z. Having DVR'd the show, I was finally able to watch it last night. All in all, I thought the show was pretty damn funny. Lines uncharacteristic of a Golden Girl and filled with innuendo, Betty White, at 88.5 years of age, delivered. If you are like me and typically don't get how SNL is still on TV, catch this episode on hulu and I promise you won't be disappointed.